I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
