you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
