Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
