Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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