i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
