It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
