I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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