To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
