Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
