so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
