He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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