Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
