Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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