So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
