I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
