Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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