new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
