she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
