I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
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