The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
