She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
