Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
tequila makes me forget i have legs
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
