this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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