Your tits are I can't wait for
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
