You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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