so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
