apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
