no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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