So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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