He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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