a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My bed smells like the plague
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
