Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
