how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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