I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
