I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
