I can tuck mytits in my pants
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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