sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
