I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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