I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
