Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
