There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
