no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
