she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
