I got chris browned last night
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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