This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Less talking, more tequila
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
