Porn is love you can see.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
