HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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