just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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