we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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