Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there was a trapeze. enough said
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
