seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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