Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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