He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
