Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
