Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I can't turn off my feet"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
