Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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