I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There r osticjed everywhere
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
