where am i from again
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
