Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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